reblog - posted 7 months ago

09.23.13

okay I see how this url became like a realllyyyyy pathetic diary and I really doubt and /hope/ no one reads this.

First things first, IM SUCH A FUCKING OVER DRAMTIC DRAMA BITCH/DOUCHE/CUNT I have never been so annoyed and bothered by myself

I assumed things too easily and I made him look like a fucking douche and I was so fucking wrong and now I fucking wow shank myself thank you.

If I were him i’d push myself off a bridge cause im really that stupid ugh cries.

IM FUCKING GOOD AT FUCKING THINGS UP AND I FUCKING SUCK

FUCK
I
SUCK
I
CANT
FIX THIS CAUSE I RUINED IT

reblog - posted 9 months ago

13.07.12;

….Zico…how long has it been? How long has it been since we’ve talked? How long has it been since I said “I love you”? I haven’t forgotten you but for sure you have forgotten about me right? Thats right you have forgotten me. You don’t even bother checking up on this blog. This dead URL. Dont even bother to once think about the girl who once thought about you 100 times a day and to this day still thinks about you. If you’re okay, if you’re taking care of yourself…if you’re happy. Did I truly mean anything to you? You once meant everything to me. Just because im in a relationship now doesn’t mean that I don’t love you anymore. I haven’t stopped loving you, I have always loved you and will forever love you. We only lasted a week yet you were never there….you were never there for me. You were always gone to reappear weeks later with apologies in my ask. Do you know how much it hurt? How lonely I felt? I felt more alone in a relationship than being single you know that? All I wanted was your company and I rarely recieved that at all….everytime I hear someone say “I love you to the moon and back” It hurts…it hurts so much. Cause I think about you…I hate Zico’s now again. You wanna know why? It’s because you have hurt me like all the other Zico’s have and you wanna know something? You’re the Zico that hurt me the most. Zico why…why did you do this to me? It all felt like I was set up for a trap. To come into my life and make me fall in love with you, with the goal of shattering me into pieces. Congrats you did it. Tell me the truth, is this true? About you being shipped away? It feels all too fake. Do you know I hate it when people call me princess now a days? You know how hard it is to pick up a broken heart that has been shattered into a million pieces thrown and thrashed around hundreds of times? Everytime…it gets harder to put it back together..its back together but not in perfect condition. I thought it would be impossible to find someone who wants this ugly teared up heart of mine that has been bashed and abused by so many. He’s always there for me…he’s my best friend. The first person I talk to in the morning the first person who I felt really loved me for everything I am for all my faults and undesired traits. He makes me feel wanted. I never thought…I would have someone else other than you.. you were my first boyfriend and I hoped for you to be my last yet I was wrong.

what am I doing writting a letter to someone who doesn’t even think about me anymore…

reblog - posted 1 year ago

zico-ah..

April 1, 2013

I know, theres a good chance you won’t see this..but…right now, I’m so heart broken…I loved you, but I guess this love wouldn’t last forever, I didn’t expect it to…but not to be that soon. I love you, you know that? I never told you. That I felt like you were the only one, that I couldn’t see myself with anyone else other than you, no one is like you. Krystal was so happy when she finally had an appa….ah -laughs- Please be a good boy okay? Don’t make your mom angry anymore arraso? arraso??! Don’t do anything rash cause you know I’d worry if you do, please don’t cut yourself while shaving anymore and please don’t get electrocuted by vacuums anymore, pabo….saranghae , thank you for coming into my life, thank you for loving me so much, I loved your hugs and your kisses and your cocky attitude. You made me love Zico again, thank you. To be honest I never liked zico because i’ve been hurt by zico’s before. At least you said goodbye, you don’t know how much that meant to me…yea I cried and cried but when someone leaves me they never seem to say goodbye…and you did. And you don’t know how happy that made me. pabo…forever yours? Remember when you said you were going to make me yours and I kept insisting that wouldn’t happen?

Remember this?

image

pabo…i’m the pabo…I fell for you so hard, you never told me your magic. How you made me fall madly in love with you.

You will forever have this tag 

You told me to forget you or hate you, but I can’t you know I love you so much… did you read my inbox that said "The amount of times I want to kiss you and tell you I love you is more than the vast number of stars there are in the galaxy?" that will never change. I love you, forever. I promise you.

be good for me, please be happy for me, please find someone who can love you and cherish you for everything you are.

You were always perfect to me….